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T’es trop canaille!


Poo-yi, mais every time I get sad cuz I miss ma home, I’m gonna watch dis video, me, an’ I think I’m gonna feel better. Mais, da best part is at 1:10. I wonder if that man live by the Scott Goodwill.

(And if you think you better than me, you bess get down offa dat ladduh, cher)

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Oh, Marilyn Manson

Marilyn Manson has a new video. It’s for a song that has two (two!) curse words in the title. You can watch it here. He stole the beat from Shania Twain and the stage-dressing from, er, himself. Twelve years ago.*

I just watched Manson’s performance at the MTV Video Music Awards in 97, which I loved when I was in seventh grade (I had a bootleg), and, I have to hand it to him–I’m retroactively shocked. I don’t know that I’m shocked so much at his comment about being free from the “fascism of Christianity” (that was nothing new, not even back in 97) as I am with how purposefully uncomfortable his stage presence is. Manson’s always been a pretty talented showman, and he sells the point of “The Beautiful People” by making himself as ugly as possible, particularly in the chorus when he bends his body into an awkward slumping scarecrow.

Of course, Manson also promised to free us from “the fascism of beauty” and subsequently dated Rose McGowan, Dita VonTeese, and that one girl who was like seven back when Manson was famous.

Not sure how they fit into Manson’s aesthetic, but let’s hope he keeps fighting the good fight against hypocrisy.

All that aside, I appreciate some of Manson’s music from a musical standpoint, and he’s a fairly bright and reasonable human being–dig his appearance in Bowling for Columbine, where he makes several interesting points, and it’s particularly nice to hear that he thinks it’s disturbing that he has more influence over young people than then-President Clinton. Manson tries to play it off and act like Clinton enjoyed more influence over America’s depressed teenagers in 1998, which is a pretty weak argument, but it does make me wonder how such things happen. Marilyn Manson certainly didn’t begin his career with the intention of shaping the thoughts and hearts of teenagers, no matter what certain fearmongerers may have tried to sell you.

If I remember correctly, what attracted me to Marilyn Manson was the vague aura of evil and rebellion that he and his record label surrounded him with. It was a sort-of ambiguous thing, though, a darkness based mostly on used medical equipment, skinny androgyny, and the colors black and red. I remember being very, very disappointed in Mechanical Animals when it came out–eighth grade–because it seemed “soft” at the time, particularly compared to the stuff that Limp Bizkit were doing (I’m not trying to be funny). Watching the video for “The Dope Show” now, though, and soft isn’t really the right word for what all’s going on–cops in pink uniforms making out with each other; a naked, unisexual Manson; that weird rigor mortis dance he’s always done; red sequins and white face masks and Manson looking more like Jar Jar Binks than Bowie as he approaches the mic. It’s more of a thrown-together, meaningless assortment of creepy/offensive images that kinda/sorta relate to one another but mostly just fire nervous neurons when they pop up. It’s the right kind of offensive for MTV: quick, flashy, shallow, and meant to provoke a knee-jerk reaction. It’s not surprising that it didn’t last.

*Holy crap, Shania Twain stole the outfit from Manson! Seriously, nice leather corsets, everyone.

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You Don’t Have to Rock Alone


Stop sorting everything and listen to Wilco (The Album) on the band’s website.

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Bitte Orca


I reviewed Bitte Orca, the Dirty Projectors’ latest record, for the upcoming issue of Filter. The issue isn’t out yet, and the record won’t be out until 6/9. Because of a bit of confusion, which was probably my fault, I never got my own copy of the album and had to e-borrow my editors’ watermarked digital copy. I listened to it as much as I could in the one-week window that I have between when I get a record and when the review’s due, and then I had to delete it, as Patrick (understandably) didn’t want any of his watermarked music floating around in the air above Michigan and California.
For whatever reason–the fact that everything leaks, or that I get new releases before they’re out–I haven’t had to sit down and wait for a record in a very long time. It would be tough enough, but having heard this thing and knowing how drop-dead awesome it is is driving me crazy. I find myself humming bits of melody that I’m holding onto in the hopes that I won’t forget the way this music makes me feel. It’s not unlike that episode of Pete & Pete where Little Pete hears Polaris playing “Summerbaby” and can never place it again. (”I was around-nobody knows, nobody knows!”–great song, that one).
Anyway, the anticipation for June 9th is killing me.

*edit: Domino, the DPs label, has just crashed its online market. They started taking pre-orders for the CASSETTE version of Bitte Orca. Yes!

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Winston Churchill backed by band from the future

History is better in the future.

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On the Pleasures of Dipping Grilled Cheese

Oh, Chelsea’s. For a moment, let’s leave aside the notion that the City Government of Baton Rouge was presumably founded as a vehicle to operate in the best interests of the community. After that, let’s also leave aside the notion that Chelsea’s Cafe employs fifty-five people and serves as a gathering-place for several different countercultural, minority, and otherwise disenfranchised communities, as well as the fact that the Cafe’s location in the Garden District has forced said countercultural groups to interact with–let’s call it the square community–and vice versa, fostering at least a semblance of actual/real diversity heretofore unseen in Baton Rouge outside of the gates of Tiger Stadium on Saturday. Finally, let’s forgo thinking about the future of Chelsea’s owner David Remmetter, and the twenty years that Chelsea’s has been in his family. Let’s leave all of that aside and play with language.

After all, the argument between the City of Baton Rouge and Chelsea’s Cafe is, when stripped of all of the above, an argument about the definition of two words — “bar” and “restaurant.” If I understand the charges correctly, Chelsea’s is being accused of operating as a bar even though it’s been zoned as a restaurant. I’m sure that there are brilliant, selfless, and not-at-all-driven-by-business-concerns reasons that a bar cannot also be a restaurant and vice versa (quick, someone alert Chili’s!), but no one has looked into that question as of yet. What constitutes a bar? What constitutes a restaurant? And why must a building be forced to choose between the two?

Not that this is without precedent in other types of establishments. We all remember when the Pete Maravich Assembly Center was temporarily closed when the City found out that the University was using the basketball arena for graduation ceremonies. An otherwise pleasant evening at a reception for a hair salon where I drank wine from an open bar and ate some sort of braised meat was ruined when the ATC burst through the doors and windows, the heat from their weapons first threatening and then violently igniting the pressurized cans of beauty products and sending great tequila-scented balls of flaming hairspray in every direction. Finally, I do believe I’ve watched football while eating at the Chimes, though I spent most of the meal looking over my shoulder in, worried about the fact that the Highland Rd. restaurant is clearly not zoned as a Public Football Viewing Area.

Yes! But–those establishments aren’t involved in the seedy, many-legged underbelly of Baton Rouge that is People Gathering And Drinking And/Or Eating. (Well, except the Chimes, of course, though to be fair, my late-night meals there are rarely interrupted by the roaring of the crowd in the next room and, despite the presence of the Bible-thick beer menu, as well as the array of beer mirrors lining the walls, I’m never really aware of the fact that the Chimes serves plenty of alcohol. There was that odd time when my meal ran long and I ended up eating dinner after ten o’clock, which was scandal enough, but it also put me in the precarious position of having to eat in a restaurant that was, as of that moment, officially a bar. The waitress took my oysters away and replaced them with an Abita Amber. I do not recall complaining.) It is a well-known fact that nineteen year-old children and other military-aged folk are often present in public spaces up to and past ten pm, and who’s to say that, as they try to eat their grilled cheese sandwiches sometime approaching the witching hour, they won’t be confused by the wily grins on the faces of the people at the adjoining table? What is that scent in the air that’s making all the speech turn slurry? Further, these people, who are typically already unable to take care of themselves (hence the eating dinner so late) are at a higher risk of possibly consuming a drink of their own. (Side note: is underage drinking problematic? Yes. So is the Iraq War. Also, greed. Also, targeting and forcing the closure successful businesses whose clientele is mostly people under thirty who don’t pay their taxes on time or go to church. Ra Shop, you may wanna get a better cover; we can see right through that black velvet curtain.)

I propose the following solution: underground caves. Sure, there are issues–the preventatively high water table, for one–but if we dig caves, we can stick bars down there and keep all of the food up here. Think about it: all beer-drinking will have to take place in the dark, humid cellars of the city. Somewhere next to the plumbing, if possible. This may present problems on Game Day, because our caves aren’t going to be big enough to hold the 120,000 tailgaters who show up with both barbecue pits and ice chests (outsiders!). And, actually, the pits aren’t going to do anything but smoke out the caves, and we’ve already outlawed smoking, so that presents its own issues and contradictions and, potentially, compromises, so that’s out. Okay, so, underground caves aren’t the answer. It was a pretty good attempt, though, and you have to admit that it did a good job of separating the wheat from the chaff.

What about Livingston Parish? Nothing going on over there, right? Really? Oh. Oh my.

Surely there has to be some sort of an answer to this thing. Perhaps a re-writing of the zoning ordinance–you know, the one that keeps George’s open till eleven pm “or whatever”? The boundaries aren’t that far–just across the street–so it shouldn’t be too tough to do.

But then, what kind of people would want to rewrite a law?

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DFW ftw

Zadie Smith quoting David Foster Wallace at the latter’s memorial service at NYU:

“[...]there’s something kind of timelessly vital and sacred about good writing. This thing doesn’t have that much to do with talent, even glittering talent…Talent’s just an instrument. It’s like having a pen that works instead of one that doesn’t. I’m not saying I’m able to work consistently out of that premise, but it seems like the big distinction between good art and so-so art lies somewhere in the art’s heart’s purpose, the agenda of the consciousness behind the text. It’s got something to do with love. With having the discipline to talk out of that part or yourself that can love instead of the part that just wants to be loved.”

To paraphrase Duncan Murrell of Durham, NC, in the last issue of Harper’s, “I have no idea what Wallace’s religious beliefs were (if any),” but if that’s not a Christian poetic, then I don’t know what is. Though he can be confounding in his style and density, Wallace’s stories (the ones I’ve read, at least) are so honest and so loving that they penetrate even themselves at times.

I want to write like this man.

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Now We Can See

Man, I am loving the new record by the Thermals. I haven’t heard a pop-punk record so catchy since Ted Leo’s Hearts of Oak, which I can still play five times a day without getting sick of. It’s that same bars-on-a-Saturday, drinking-beers-and-barbecuing feel that I get from Ted. (I should point out that no one else in the world probably hear either of these bands as such; they’re both way too political for that). As giddy as it’s got me, and as sticky as it feels, I feel a sense of darkness below the surface here, and I’m sure that once I devote an afternoon to paying attention to what they’re saying, I’ll discover what it is I’m talking about here. But, until then, it’s the jam.

“I looked my fear in the eyes,
I looked at the water below,
I knew I could love or live,
I let it go.”

That’s some good obscurity, there. Of what does he let go? Love or life? Beautiful.
(You can hear “I let it go” here).

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You wanted the best? You got the best.

For those of you whose lives don’t revolve around the revolving of a 12″ piece of vinyl, a 5″ piece of plastic, or an infinitesimally small hard drive, today is National Record Store Day. Last year, I picked up Animal Collective’s Sung Tongs, Chance Jones’ The Angels’ Share, and, uh, something else that I can’t remember. I was in Grand Rapids for the first time, attending the Festival of Faith and Music, and convinced my good friend Alex to drive me downtown. I think I also won tickets to see Lucero. Either way, it was a very nice introduction to the city that I would, four months later, begin to call–well, not “home.” Maybe “where I live.”

So, today being one of the first days that I haven’t had to wear long sleeves in six or so months, I rode my bike down to Vertigo for this year’s festivities. A quick primer: small, independent record stores are closing down at an alarming rate, putting store owners out of work, forcing us to buy the music Best Buy has to provide, and, (perhaps) most importantly, giving the counterculture one less place to congregate. Thus, why not throw big parties with bands, free food, and exclusive vinyl-only, Record Store Day-only releases?

I left my camera at home like a fool, but the store — which is one of the best record stores in the country this side of Amoeba — was packed. I’m talking can’t-squeeze-through-the-aisles packed. I’m talking waiting-in-line-to-browse-the-new-arrivals packed. I picked up seven or eight things — a Gaslight Anthem exclusive live EP! A new Magnolia Electric Co 7″! Bringing It All Back Home for $4! — and eventually put them all back, not wanting to wait in the monstrous line. A female singer-songwriter in the indie-Moog vein was playing when I got there, and a brilliant female-fronted cow-punk band started playing as I left. There were giveaways (though — a green, sleeveless Yep Roc t-shirt?) and free beer and pizza. There wasn’t a single countercultural stereotype not on display. Crust punks hung out outside next to beaten-up drums, hipsters with Timbuk2 bags clogged the aisles, aging rockers clutching vinyl copies of The Replacements’ Tim and Bonnie Prince Billy’s newest album hung out in line. I mostly kept to myself, though I did convince a guy to buy a vinyl copy of Springsteen’s 77-87 live box set.

The whole thing, though, is supposed to be a celebration of record stores and record store culture, and the Vertigo party was maybe that. But, unable to stand the idea of waiting in line for half an hour to buy records I’m interested in but not burning with desire for, I hopped back on my bike and rode to Dodd’s, a hole-in-the-wall shop about two blocks up the street that, even on a typical day, sees about 1/10th of Vertigo’s traffic.

If your dad went to college in the mid 70s, your house growing up looked like Dodd’s. The store — which has been open since the 1930s and owned by its current owner since 1951, the year my dad was born — is wood-paneled and crammed wall-to-wall with records. It’s known in GR — I remember seeing a post on G-Rad about a new shipment of used Iggy Pop LPs showing up back in the fall — but it lacks every bit of the hip cachet that Vertigo has cultivated.

Five copies of Life’s Rich Pageant aside, there’s not much at Dodd’s for the average Pitchfork reader. There are loads — loads — of classic country, gospel, and blues records, as well as a few comedy and zydeco-type things, but it is, more than anything, a testament to the confused abundance of the 1980s. The sheer amount of REO Speedwagon records is amazing, not only because I don’t know a single person who listens to REO Speedwagon, but also because I can’t name a single Speedwagon song.

But Speedwagon, along with Billy Joel and the Doobie Brothers, is easy to find used. Dodd’s most bizarre eccentricity is the sheer number of used KISS LPs it services. Nearly every single one of the classic 70s albums is there in a variety of conditions, including several mint copies of landmark live album KISS Alive! Though from New York, KISS have always seemed to be a quintessential Michigan band, perhaps based solely on the enduring popularity of “Detroit Rock City,” from 1976’s Destroyer. That said, parts of Alive! were recorded in the Motor City, and the Midwestern riffage across all four sides of vinyl are hard to deny.

KISS were one of the first bands I was ever fascinated with. I was in sixth grade when the original lineup reunited on the MTV Video Music Awards and, in the grand tradition of bored sixth graders everywhere, fell hard for the mixture of loud guitars and garish makeup. Rock music is supposed to have a bit of showmanship to it, from Bowie as Ziggy to Franz Nicolay’s mustache. And no one can deny that KISS are the consummate showmen.

That being said, I never paid much attention to KISS’ music, aside from the obvious hits and the (still great) “Hard Luck Woman.” (A minor aside — there’s a great video online of Garth Brooks, decked out in hat and tight jeans, singing “Hard Luck Woman” with a makeup-less KISS on Leno. Google it.)

The guitars here are huge. Not Tom Verlaine in Television-huge, nor Nels Cline in Wilco-huge; Paul Stanley and Ace Frehley weren’t masters of feel so much as ministers of technique. I’m talking two or three Tad Kublers stacked atop one another. Frehley was a hell of a lead player, and he rips through his solos here with a vicious confidence. Oddly, those guitar lines are reported to be the only tracks on Alive! that weren’t re-recorded in the studio, which means that only the perpetually drunk Frehley was able to rock like a genius on stage. Nevertheless, when he rips into the screaming solos of “Firehouse” while actual sirens roar through the mix and the crowd forces its way onto the album, there’s a bit of the rock magic that KISS seemed to think they were constantly churning out. “Get the fffff-ire out!” Stanley screams, and it’s not hard to imagine Roger Daltrey nodding his head in approval. Not for nothing did the All Music Guide write up reviews for all but two of the album’s tracks. Even Pitchfork gave Alive! a perfect 10.0 upon its reissue in (I believe) 2006. (Note: they’ve since removed the review from their site; take from that what you will.)

But Alive! isn’t a great album so much as it is a perfect rock ‘n’ roll album. For every thundering riff and smoky explosion, there’s a matching dumb monologue (”how many people out there like to get high!!!”) and six-minute drum solo. Filtered through a flanger, no less. In this way, Alive! functions as something of a rock ‘n’ roll Bible, the only document that really seems to be telling the truth about rock music, from the first-pumping highs to the imbecilic lows, though the Bible knows it’s doing so; KISS Alive! has no idea what it’s doing, and I’m willing to bet that they’d bristle at the thought.

Dodd’s owner is a tired man who looks to be in his late sixties or early seventies. He wears a white trucker hat on top of his head because he likes it, and he keeps the store phone around his neck on a cord. “Find any goodies?” he asked me as I walked up with Alive! and Bowie’s ChangesOneBowie under my arm. Down two blocks, the scenesters were strutting in the street, celebrating a made-up celebration of some vague concept — a concept that I adore but an ephemeral concept that has about as much to do with music as it does with supporting the economy. I tucked my LPs into my bag, unlocked my bike, and prepared to trek home, when a group of wannabe thugs walked up Division, one of them rapping poorly about something, one of them grabbing onto Dodd’s aluminum siding and pulling as hard as he could. It didn’t break.

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Great Moments in TV KISStory

Things worth noting:
Tupac’s claim that “the swap meet was closed,” hence the Versace.
Gene Simmons’ pronunciation of “Los Angeles” as “Loas Angeleez”
The fact that “I Can Love You Like That” by All-For-One was nominated for a Grammy, alongside the theme from Friends
Peter Criss saying “yes!” when Pac announces the winner
At one point the Grammys put Tupac Shakur, Hootie & the Blowfish, and the original lineup of KISS on stage at the same time.

Also — “Kiss From a Rose”!

more about "2Pac – Grammy Awards (1996)", posted with vodpod

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